Just Sayin’… “NO”

Let me hear you… “NO“. A little louder now… “NO.”  Let me hear it again… “NO!” See? It’s as simple as that.

Just say “NO”! What’s the big deal?

Well, many of us have trouble saying that little word. We want people to see us as helpful and to be included in things so we keep saying “yes” when we really mean “no”. That little 2-letter word is one powerful communication tool that can help us in many ways…once we figure out how and when to use it.

Think about it:

When you last said “yes” when you wished you’d said “no”, how did you feel? Obligated and irritated? Disappointed and mad? Like you sold yourself out?

I can relate.

I begrudgingly went to a meeting one Saturday wishing all the way there that I’d just said that little word. As a result, I didn’t enjoy myself, was a disinterested attendee, and couldn’t wait to get back to my weekend home activities. What a waste of time and energy, and not just mine! My being there with that mindset surely sent a message.

But why didn’t I just say “no” at the very beginning and do what I really wanted to in the first place?

Fear of confrontation comes to mind. Fear of having to explain why and then having to answer more questions about my decision. At least, that’s what I expected would happen. It may not have.  I just didn’t have the courage to turn it down at the time, worrying instead about the dialog that would follow and the explanation I’d have to give. So I went… and had a lousy time. Ugh.

When we keep agreeing to things instead of first asking ourselves if we really want to do whatever it is, resentment and frustration set in. We don’t want to disappoint others, but what about ourselves???

Here’s an idea for breaking this pattern:  Realize that saying “no” to something allows us to say “YES” to another. “YES” to priorities, to taking care of ourselves, our family, our home, to taking a mental break from being overly busy, and the list of  numerous benefits goes on. Had I thought about it that way, and if the questions followed, I would’ve been more honest and told the truth. “I’ve got something else to take care of that day.” No further explanation needed!

In my communication workshops, we talk about the whole point of communicating being to get our message across clearly and effectively. Saying “no” to things we don’t want to do fits right in. Being honest and upfront gives us confidence and personal power to follow our own paths and make our own decisions. Others may not like our decisions at first, but they’ll usually respect us.

Say “YES” to what you want to do, to where you want to go, and with whom you want to spend your time.

Say “YES” to being authentic and respectful of yourself!

Choose to have a great week!  YES!

Want to listen to this “KICK” with extra commentary? Click here.

One Comment

  1. Elaine says:

    Right on Debbie! I guess saying, yes or no to family, friends and others comes with knowing ourself and what is meaningful in our lives. Great topic for thought.

    Elaine 🙂

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *